Whenever I listen to the song "Walk of Shame" by Pink, I am struck by one line.
"I'm wearing last night's dress
And I look like a hot ass mess
Although my hair looks good
'cause I haven't slept yet."
Whaaaaaaaat?
Who on earth manages to stay up all night getting fucked six ways from Sunday, but doesn't mess up her hair?
Oh right, the Princess.
The girl who puts sooooooo much effort into looking good enough to pick someone up, that they seem to forget that once that mission is accomplished, looking good isn't quite as important any more.
Maybe they have watched a little too much softcore, and think that hair and makeup can actually stay perfect while fucking (without breaks and a makeup team? Right.). Maybe they are just hideously insecure and worry that if they look less than perfect, he'll run screaming. Maybe they didn't intend to get laid, but did intend to keep that expensive style for the morning.
Whatever the reason, you find yourself in bed with a Princess.
You can't pull her hair, because you'll mess it up. This also limits your positions somewhat, as at no time can she be pushed up against something that would crush her 'do. Nothing too energetic on her part, either. God forbid she sweats off her perfectly applied MAC. She has a lipgloss in her bag for touchups, so she can suck your dick....but don't you dare get too into it, or the mascara will run.
She'll make all of this very clear as time goes by. Princesses have absolutely no problem (and a surprising amount of strength) with flinging a man off them and shrieking "not the HAAAAAAIR".
Really girls? Does it really matter that much? To me, it is a mark of great sex that you end up looking a little like you have been dragged through a hedge backwards. Taking more than twenty minutes to brush out all the knots in my hair just makes me smile.
I've said it before, and I'll say it again. Sex should be FUN. You should get into it, you should enjoy it, you should give in to how fucking fantastic it feels, and screw the hair, screw the neighbors, screw everything else, and just screw.
So what if you end up looking like a raccoon hiding under a bird's nest? Who cares?
Trust me, the person you are in bed with should care about two things. Is he having fun, and are you? And if you do manage to meet a man who could go from balls deep to one foot out the door just because you got a little smudged, trust me. You don't want him.
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