Monday Morning Rant: "Loose" women

I have a love-hate relationship with slut-shaming.

On the one hand, obviously I'm all for women having some class, poise, and self respect. I'm also for women having respect for the feelings of others, and don't like the idea of anyone using another person or treating them as a disposable object (at least, not without their consent!). Watching girls flail around outside the club in dresses that barely cover their panties and making out with everyone in sight for no apparent reason makes me want to go up and give them a jacket and cab fare.

At the same time, however, the vast majority of slut shaming doesn't seem to be about telling women to be safe, to be smart, to be caring of themselves and their partners. It seems to be aimed at the idea that sleeping with multiple people is BAD, no matter how you do it, and sleeping with only a few people is GOOD. No matter how you do it.

And the part of this particular obsession with putting down women with a larger "number" that makes the least sense is the idea that women who have had few partners will be "tight" and women with many partners will be "loose". You know..."down there".

It's this kind of slut shaming that really gets my back up, if only because my Vulcan side cannot figure out the logic behind it. Because there isn't any logic, just a knee jerk reaction that makes it easy to judge people without having to look deeper.

Highly illogical.

First off, that just ain't how it works. The inside of a women is basically a tube of muscle. Like any muscle, it can be strong and tight, or it can be kind of....saggy. What is it that determines this? Stretching and flexing. That's it. Kids and keigels make more of a difference than all the dick in the world....sorry boys. You just don't leave the same kind of impact.

And even if it was the sheer volume of sex a woman had, and each time a dick went in her, she became 1% "looser"....well, it STILL doesn't make sense, because the volume of sex isn't related to the number of sex partners.

When I'm in a relationship, I have far more sex than when I am single, if only because it's available all the time. The single life may have a reputation for being wild and crazy, but even as someone who loves a good one-nighter now and again, I'm still not going to have one every single night. For one thing, I just don't have the time or money to go out and pick up that many people! For another, well, I'm somewhat discriminating. In a relationship, I will have sex twice a day, if I can. Christ, I can (and have) had sex ten times in a day. So the times that I have been in relationships have pretty much always been more sexually active than the single times. Which means that the fewer partners I have.....would mean the more sex.

Sounds counter intuitive? That's because we are constantly taught to assume that slutty singletons are having waaaaay more sex than everyone else. Nope, sorry.

On top of that, there is the simple fact that the higher number of partners you have, the wider range of sizes you will experience. That's just statistical probability. It's highly unlikely that they are all going to be hung like a porn star, and far more common that there will be a lot of small and average in there. But what of the woman who lost her virginity to a guy who puts James Deen to shame, and does her every night? You can bet that'll do a lot more in terms of.....stretching...than shagging five different guys who barely break average.

Last but not least, there is that funny thing that happens when a woman is happily sexually active with multiple partners. She tends to be a little more highly sexed, and a lot more careful about her sexual health. At least, if she has half a brain, she is. Which means that she is probably going to take better care of herself...pelvic exercises included. Trust me, that makes more difference than pretty much anything except popping out a kid or two.

Why did I mention sex drive? Because if you are single, as I mentioned earlier, there are going to be quite a few nights where you aren't getting any. Which is where most women with a high sex drive will be thanking the good lord for sex toys. Most women I know orgasm more often alone than with a partner. Most single women I know masturbate more often than those in relationships. Orgasms cause contractions, actually building those magic muscles. Ergo, single women are doing unintentional tightening a lot more than those celibate or monogamous ones.

All of which adds up to suggest that the lovely lady who marries her high school sweetheart and starts having babies is actually going to feel far more like throwing a sausage down a hallway than your average "slut".

So next time you hear some moron raging on about how so-and-so must be wider than the channel tunnel because she's slept with ten guys, you may want to mention that clearly, the speaker knows sweet fuck all about the female body.

You may also want to ask that thing that I always wonder about: could you possibly be so concerned about only bedding tight girls because you are just too small to feel, otherwise?