I'd like to start by saying that I ADORE jezebel. If I anticipate spending a lot of time writing Wednesday reactions to articles on their site, it's not because I dislike the site, or disagree with it, or really have any negative response to it at all. Instead, it is because I read it nearly daily, and because it is incredibly relevant to who I am and what I do. So funnily enough, it makes me think. When I think, I write. Simple as that.
Sometimes, however, the things I think are that some articles get a little too overly "feminist" - unnecessarily angry about misogyny in the media.
A prime example of this is "Bingo for a Misogynistic World".
The title alone bugs me with its negativity. The assumption that the world is misogynistic reminds me of a certain kind of woman. The kind of angry woman who can't listen to a joke, no matter how funny, without getting in a snit over the fact that blonde/bad driver/dumb women jokes are completely unacceptable. The kind that is as concerned about form as content in the media, but gets very, very angry when any OTHER woman is as concerned about her own form as she is about the content of her personality. In short, the worst kind of self-described "feminist".
The article is a set of three bingo "cards" with words/phrases taken from comments on articles/videos/web content. These are all words that are supposed to shock and appall, and we are advised to have a drink to "numb the pain" when we find one.
I'm pretty sure that the drink part is supposed to be a joke - hopefully the writer isn't actually advocating drinking as a way to deal with emotions. Of course, even as a joke, it is as miserably negative as the title.
Now, some of the words are definitely an issue. I won't argue that I am appalled when someone tells a complete stranger "Kill Yourself". And I understand why some of the words, those that relate to physical appearance, could be seen as an issue. It is definitely frustrating to see how much appearance matters to the media, if you are a woman, and seeing someone reduced to the idea of "fat" or "ugly" as the ultimate insult, well, that's not ok.
Yet, I think that if you take context into account, you will discover that the words are not the problem. That we could create a world where all of these words disappear, but the attitudes still remain, because the words are not the problem.
There seems to be a belief held by a lot of people that words create the world. As a writer, I wish that that was the case. As an optimist, I believe that changing your words can go a long way to changing your mindset. But also as an optimist, I believe that words only have the power we give them. That words are the way we express our thoughts - and that changing out words does not actually change the way we think, it just represents a deeper change in what we are thinking about.
Seeing all these negative words isn't just about misogyny, and claiming it as such is fairly selfish. Assuming that the root of the problem is a hatred for women seems kind of narcissistic, as a gender. It's not hating WOMEN that is the issue. It is simply hate. It is a lack of accountability for the things that we say when we are online, because you don't get to see the reaction. It is a lack of empathy for other people, a lack of awareness, of connectedness. Most worryingly of all, it is the loss of the ability to express oneself accurately, without resorting to mindless insults.
These are issues that need to be resolved at the level of education, of communication, of community. Not by getting angry that some stranger called another stranger a "cunt". By getting angry at the system that created a person with an inability to articulate their thoughts, and without the desire to do so. A system that creates people who believe that their opinion is more important than the feelings of others, and that it is necessary to vomit out every thought that passes through their head. And yes, I am aware of the irony of that sentence, as a blogger.
At the end of the day, its not about women. It's not about women as victims, or men as women-haters. And really, if you think it is, I invite you to peruse the cam rooms of male models. These are words and phrases that the average cam girl hears a hundred times a day. They are also words and phrases that the average cam-GUY hears just as much. I mean, not, TITS OR GTFO. But the phrase DICK OR GTFO gets thrown about. In fact, random insults, death threats, suggestions to suicide....these are just the tip of the iceberg. It may still be men flinging the mud, but they are flinging mud at other men.
Misogyny my ass.
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