You're thinking about schoolgirls right now, aren't you? Rulers, pigtails....willingness to do anything to get a passing grade...Sir.
I'll just...give you a couple minutes to yourself, shall I?
Ahem.
Now, lets move your mind to a slightly different part of the gutter, because I have absolutely nothing bad to say about "Please Professor" roleplay. For the record, it is one of my absolute favorites, and I think I was first playing schoolgirl when I was still an actual schoolgirl! Although I managed to keep my hands off the actual teachers, I swear.
Instead, I named this one "The Educator" because I couldn't bear to call something bad after Yoda, and "The Master" is a whole other thing. Starting to understand what I'm talking about? If you've ever encountered one, you've probably figured it out.
The Educator is the kind of overly-confident asshole who thinks that he (or she!) has figured it all out. The secret to sex, the universe and everything. (Which should really just be 69, shouldn't it?) And lucky you, he's going to bestow these secrets of perfect sex on you. You should be honored, to be chosen as apprentice to such a master of the bedroom arts. You should be thrilled - anything that he likes, that you don't - well, he's going to do it to you the right way! You will love it! You just haven't had HIM do it yet.
Excuse me whilst I swoon with anticipation of being in the hands of the Michelangelo of fucking.
Or not.
There is something just so horrifyingly arrogant about the Educator. Of course you don't know your own likes and dislikes. Clearly, there is one formula for perfect sex, one ideal way to do absolutely everything, and this formula works for everyone in the whole world, exactly the same way. Given that most people not only want something different than another person might, it's just a tad unreasonable. Christ, I want different things depending on my mood. Or what we did last time. Or what time of day it is. Or how much I've had to drink. Or maybe even because of a dream I had last night. It doesn't exactly work if you are just going to do the same thing that the last woman loved.
On top of the arrogance, and the resultant bad, awkward, formulaic sex involving zero give and take - the Educator is one of those few people who can actually do serious damage to a person's sexual happiness. If you are already pretty darn sure about what you want, coming up against someone who is determined to show you the "right" way to do it is just annoying. But if you are unsure, insecure, impressionable.....then this will seriously mess with your head.
That is why I hate Educators so, very, very, much. Who, exactly, do you think you are to be able to tell someone that they are wrong for not being into something? Nice way to show your partner that you think they are a little bit broken. God forbid it's your fault that they didn't enjoy it. Nope, if Mr Educator can't bring a girl to orgasm, it must be because she is broken. After all, he used to have to peel his ex off the ceiling afterwards. She couldn't even see straight. What a lovely way to smash a girl's confidence, put her down AND squeeze in a direct comparison to the ex, all in one go. Gold star for assholery.
What about those times where you have a partner who IS more experienced? Or who just wants to show you something new? What about those, I hear you cry?
Well, luckily I have a simple little test that will allow you to quickly differentiate between the person who wants to do some exploration, and the one who is just showing you the route he already knows is best. Just mentally add two little words after their suggestion, and see how it sounds. If their tone, phrasing, and general attitude seems to flow naturally with these words, run away (or prostrate yourself in front of their supposed genius, if you feel like it). Whereas if it just sounds silly, or totally out of place, you're good.
And what are these magic, revealing words?
"Young Padawan"
No comments:
Post a Comment