Wednesday Reaction: Shame-based Sex Ed

Today I stumbled across this article "The Damaging Effects of Shame Based Sex-Education".

It's definitely a thought-provoking read, although I think that the title is a little misleading, as it doesn't really talk about sex-education. At least, not in the sense I think of - sex-ed as a class in schools. It is more about the way that sex is presented to younger women, and refers heavily to a Christian rhetoric.

It's also more specifically talking about the idolization of virginity, at least for women. Kristen Howerton talks about the need to discuss both abstinence and sex as valid and "ok", especially for teens.

So what is the ideal? Talking about teens and sex ed always requires a search for a balance - trying to teach young women (and men, but this article focuses on female virginity, so it makes sense that my response does too) to value themselves, and their sexuality, but at the same time, teaching them that enjoying sex does not make them damaged goods, or less of a person.

Which is worse? Creating a situation where young girls who lose their virginity feel dirty, damaged, unwanted.....or creating a situation where sex has so little value that teenagers are giving no thought to safety or self-respect? To me, answering that question comes from looking at the situations of those who do not get to make the choice themselves. Kristen brings up that "Survivors of rape need "permission to fight back," and that requires them "to know you are of value." and she is right. I am more concerned about the mental state of the young women who are assaulted, and need to feel that that hasn't irrevocably damaged them, that they can recover and move forward.

After all, this is the root of slut-shaming. This is the foundation of the kind of thinking behind the phrase "asking for it", or the idea that somehow "giving it away" devalues a woman. "Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free". We can't change the greater problem of slut shaming, until we stop putting such an emphasis on virginity.

And that IS something that needs to be included in sex-education. Then again, pretty much all sex education needs to be overhauled, in my opinion - taking out the concept of "purity" is just one tiny part of it. But as they say, every little helps.