Cumming as a Compliment

Isn't it great when men work really, really hard to be less selfish in bed?

Well actually, NO.

There are times when good intentions really do pave the way to hell - and the seventh circle is being stuck under Captain Never Cum.

Oh, Captain Never Cum. Close friend of Captain Save-a-Ho, this is one of those men who think that they truly, deeply, understand what a woman needs, and provide that at all times, even when it really fucking annoys the woman that they are with.

Once upon a time, Captain Never Cum heard that women don't like a man who has no stamina. Maybe he heard a joke about his arch-nemesis, Dr Quick Draw, and decided that he would never, ever, subject a woman to an unfulfilling quickie. Like all wannabe superheros, he spends vast amounts of time training, coming up with gadgets, tricks, and techniques to hold his orgasm at bay. The ultimate student will learn to prolong his finale INDEFINITELY - remaining hard for days at a time to provide unlimited orgasms to the lucky lady that falls into his arms. 

Of course, the problem with this is that few women actually want a man that will keep pounding away ad infinitum until she has to beg him to stop. Here is a little hint: Being told "God, Stop! I just cant TAKE any more!"  actually means "for the love of God, I surrender, let me sleep".

Men, unless you happen to be fucking an egocentric bitch, believe me when I say that she would really like to make you cum. Of course, if you ARE fucking an egocentric bitch for the sheer hell of it - why do you care about making her happy? Masturbate into that breathing sex doll and GTFO.

That unpleasantness aside...in the same way that I sincerely hope that you enjoy seeing a lady in the throes of passion, she really wants to feel like she is so incredible that you just can't help it. We are trained to believe that guys are simmering volcanoes of sexual energy, and restraining yourself for more than a song is a superhuman act; when you don't behave that way, it kinda makes us feel inadequate.

Imagine for a moment that you are with a woman, pulling out all the stops, showing off your forays into internet research, gyrating, stroking, nibbling, swinging from the chandeliers.....but try as you might, she just isn't getting there. Would you feel fulfilled? Would you feel as though you were blindingly sexy, incredibly talented, the lover to take her to new heights of pleasure? Or would you feel more like a tourist in Times Square, desperately trying to make sense of a crumpled map. You KNOW you can get there - dammit, you know that everyone ELSE has made sense of this...what are you doing WRONG?

Well, women aren't that different from men in that sense, except that we have been conditioned to believe that the female orgasm is an elusive little pixie - constantly dashing, giggling, out of the way - while the male orgasm is barely restrained while buying groceries. Which makes it that much worse to try your hardest, and still fail.

I, for one, would much rather feel the warm glow of satisfaction over being so incredible that you just can't hold back, then the warm glow of working up a sweat trying to coax a single bead of pre-jack from Captain Never Cum. Put your capes away for a while - how about just enjoying getting fucked, for once? That medal that you get for longest session ever - it comes with a matching medal for your partner. And no woman wants to win the gold for taking longest to get him off. Congratulations! Worst fuck ever! He only got there after eight hours and thinking about someone else!

Only a masochist would try to win THAT prize a second time...