Sunday 30 September 2012

Stalking ISN'T Love! Now Stop It!

Full Article Here

A friend of mine in Vancouver sent me a link to this article earlier this week, and I couldn't help but think of it when I was listing the scariness that is Christian Grey. You see, this kind of behavior is exactly the kind of crap that we are going to run into if pop culture keeps holding up characters like Mr Grey and Edward (of Twilight fame) as examples of what women want in a man.

The article describes a man who went on vacation from Canada to Ireland last year. While he was there, he met a woman, and he has decided that he fell so in love with this woman that he is going to travel back to Ireland to try and be with her.

How sweet, right? Well, it would have been if he had, say, met this woman, had a holiday romance with her, kept in touch, and then decided that he was willing to risk it all to be with her, leaving his family, friends and life behind.

But that isn't what happened. In fact, he doesn't even know the woman's name (thank god, for her sake). She isn't someone that he had many conversations with, or saw multiple times during his holiday. No, this is a woman who gave him directions to a tourist attraction. Once. Over a year ago.

And now, he is not only actually flying across the world to try and find her, but he is actively involving the media to try and make it easier.

Any way you slice it, this is scary stuff. Just imagine it - some random person that you gave polite information to a long time ago might have spent the intervening months creating a fantasy where you are the only one for him (or her - frankly, I'm kind of surprised it's a dude, as this smacks of bat-crap-crazy-girl behavior). And now he is coming for you. Gonna hunt you down like a dog, and when he announces that intention to the world, he isn't wrestled to the ground by armed police. Nope, the world's media has apparently been watching too many romantic comedies in it's pjs while eating cookie dough straight out of the tube, because it breathes a collective sigh and decided to HELP this crazy bastard.

To me, this is the plot of an episode of "Criminal Minds" not "Sex And The City". If I was living in Ireland right now, and had happened to have given directions to someone, I'd be dying my hair and stocking up on mace (and possibly bullets). I'd be wondering if its possible to build up a tolerance to chloroform.

Best case scenario, she is single, was attracted to him, and they have a short but awkward relationship that ends because it's really difficult trying to build a relationship with someone who has basically declared undying love on the first date. It's also impossible that she would ever live up to the fantasy that he has created in him mind over the past year. Finally, it's never a great way to build trust, knowing that your partner is emotionally unstable, and might declare undying love for a total stranger at any moment. Awkward, but oh well.

More realistic scenarios include:

- She is married, and her husband gon' be PISSED.
- She is gay.
- She is smart enough to be scared off by this psychotic behavior.
- She is nothing like his memory of her, and he can never find his fantasy woman because he wouldn't recognize her again if he saw her, and he is never able to actually have a decent relationship again, constantly pining over "the one that got away".
- She is found several weeks later, tied to a chair, and needs therapy for the rest of her life.
- She is found in a ditch. Well, most of her.

*shudder

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