Ah, New Year.
Sometimes I feel like resolutions are the X-mas decorations of New Year. Something you put in a box, and dust off once a year for a few weeks, before putting them away again. The saddest part is, most people actually bring out the SAME resolutions year after year.
And like the tinsel, those shiny, hopeful resolutions start to get ratty and faded as the years go by.
So what can you do differently? How is it that you stop your resolutions being purely ornamental, and make them a little more functional?
Well, for one thing, SMART will get you at least part of the way. (Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Realistic, Timely.) But no one needs yet another blogger talking about SMART goals, certainly not this one! After all, I'm not your average "inspirational" bear!
Nope, I'm a slutty internet slut, which has taught me a thing or two about making plans, and goals, and actually doing them. Not just writing them down, not just buying new outfits to run in and notebooks to write your spending diary in (self-defeating, much?), but actually DOING them. Because working online, and working for a company that truly couldn't care less if I ever logged in and did a shift with them again, means figuring out how to get stuff done.
Which brings us neatly to the first piece of advice.
1. ONLY BE ACCOUNTABLE TO YOURSELF.
Most goal-setters tell you to get a "work out buddy" or tell someone else your goals to make you feel ashamed if you don't achieve them (well, they may not intend the shame, but that is the result). The idea is that you have someone else to motivate you, to check on your progress....the reality is that you have a built in excuse network, all ready and waiting.
"My workout buddy is sick, so I didn't go to the gym. I can't work out without her."
"Oh I really shouldn't, but you are meant to be keeping me on track, and you said it's ok to buy the dress"
Fuck. That.
Your "buddy", your support network - they would prefer to see you succeed, but they will never care as much as you should. It is NOT them. They may jump up and down if you lose 10lbs, but it will never be them feeling fat when they get out of the shower.
So make yourself accountable to you. You have no excuse then. No one else can give you permission to break your diet (food or finances). No one else can de-rail you by not fitting your schedule. No one else can fall off the wagon and pull you with them.
If you want to share your success with people - great! Do it when you have already had the success. It is much sweeter to be able to say "I haven't smoked for a month!" than "I plan to quit smoking".
2. DO IT NOW
As in, right now. It always amazes me how many people don't do this - not just with resolutions, but with tiny things in their life. If you should do something, you should do it Right. Fucking. Now. At the very least, you should take a step toward it. Camgirls can turn procrastination into an art - and before you know it, it is 6pm, you have done no work, and well, you may as well just not work today anyway. You'll do it tomorrow.
NO. In fact, if you get into the habit of putting things off, you WON'T do it tomorrow. Habits are stronger than plans, every time.
If you are waiting for something - that something will NEVER COME. Just do it, or start it, right now. Make that first step. And make sure that it is a real step, not a fake "procrastination step". Going out to buy new workout gear does NOT bring you closer to losing weight. Going to the gym and joining it? That does. Not sure if it is a "procrastination step"? Ask yourself - is it possible to reach my goal without doing this? If the answer is "yes" it is a procrastination step. Doesn't mean that you can't go buy new workout clothes, it just means that you can't use that as what you did to bring your goal closer today. Unless you jogged to the store and did squats in the checkout line.
3. STOP PAYING ATTENTION TO THE NEGATIVE
Both camming and stripping hammered this one home to me! For some reason, even the men who have no idea when they are being lied to or manipulated have a finely honed sensor for desperation or negativity. It's a vicious circle. Start feeling a little frustrated, and it comes across. Customer does not want to pay for negative girl, and you cannot make money. Frustration rises. Frustration comes across more. Girl ends up throwing shoes in the changing room.
Essentially, negativity is more pervasive than you realize. Even if a dancer thinks that she is projecting Mary-Fucking-Sunshine, if her head isn't in the right place, those wily frat boys can tell. Same with you. You may think that just a little bitching about the difficulty of sticking to a budget won't hurt. It does. Every time you let yourself think that way, it shores up your pile of excuses, making it easier to break down and stop trying. It goes from - damn, I can't buy this now, because of that stupid budget - to - this budget is really hard to stick to - to - I've done well, after all, budgets are really hard to stick to all the time, I can splurge this once - to - aw, screw it.
Now try it the other way. Break the cycle.
Wow, before my budget, I would have bought this. Thank god I have it to remind me I shouldn't. - to - Look at that, I stuck to it! This isn't that hard! - to - Wow, look how much money I saved sticking to it! - to - omg, I did it!
4. FIX THE HOLE IN YOUR DAMN BUCKET
You know the old song, There's a Hole in my Bucket? (stuck in your head now, isn't it? HA!) I know too many women who make every problem into a hole in their bucket. It goes a little something like this: "I can't go online, because I need to scan my ID, and don't have a scanner. I can't get a scanner because I need money. I have no money because I can't work."
Good Lord, just stop it.
Whatever obstacle you think is in your way? It isn't. You made it up. And right now you are frantically arguing that in your head "no, I haven't made it up! I haven't made up my bank balance! I just can't afford it. I haven't made up my work day, I just don't have time. I haven't made up my addiction."
You may not have made up the thing that you are presenting as an obstacle. But you have made it an obstacle. You don't have the money to work out? IT'S FREE. Gyms, trainers, workout clothes - great. But you can do jumping jacks and sit ups naked in your living room.
You don't have the time? Then manage your time better. Get up earlier, go to bed later, cut out useless activities.
Whatever thing you think is a "reason" for not doing something - that is called an "excuse". Stop making excuses. Fix the hole in your bucket.
5. PRIORTIZE
Last, but definitely not least. You can do everything else, but if you do not have priorities, you won't get it done. One of my biggest financial mistakes as a dancer was not having priorities. I would spend money on more costumes, makeup, shoes, an stripping stuff. Then I would spend it on food and fripperies. After a few years of earning a LOT of money...I had none left over. I had terrible priorities.
Guess what? Working out comes BEFORE watching tv. Unless your resolution was to learn more, and you are watching a documentary. Get your shit done and then relax, don't relax to get "ready" for doing something! The only thing that you should relax in preparation for is sleep.
Have lots of resolutions? Work out the most important one, or the one that needs to happen before the others do. Say you want to quit smoking, get fit, and save money. How on earth are you going to save money and get fit if you are still smoking? Priorities.
Say you want to meditate every morning, and drink less every night. Well, if you are drinking every night, it'll make it a LOT harder to get up and meditate in the morning.
So there you go. Five ways to stop your New Years resolutions becoming a running joke. And if all that is just too much to deal with (because you are a small child, or possibly a koala bear) then all you really have to remember are the wise words of Yoda.
DO OR DO NOT. THERE IS NO TRY.
No comments:
Post a Comment